I remember a teacher once told us in primary school that, “beware the quiet ones, you never know what they are thinking” , he was referring to me btw. It’s interesting how people know me differently, some know me as quiet, some as loud, some as funny, others as shy, but nothing beats the joy of me knowing me.
I’ve heard it said time and time again, if I don’t love myself then who will ? but at times I think of how easy it is to say those words and not mean them. Easy to say you cherish yourself when deep inside you cant stand yourself. Our masks don’t really exists so others can like us, they exists so we can be comfortable with ourselves, because if they like me then maybe I can learn to like myself. But to truly love yourself, to stand in front of the mirror and “check yourself out”, to tell yourself, I love you; it strangely gives you joy you did not know was already there.
To be happy in your own company, heck to simply want to be by yourself, in your own thoughts, is such a calming thing. To enjoy eating alone at a restaurant, to encourage yourself when you’re feeling down, to push yourself when you’re not sure, to be content with exactly who you are, there are few things more fulfilling.
Most of us have been led to believe we need external stimuli to make us happy with ourselves. We believe if we finally find success or find ‘the one’ we will be content and happy with our lives. So we are in a constant such to find “them” or “it”. We try to be better so they would notice us, we dress better, talk more eloquently, even work harder at our jobs and school so they will find us worthy. All the while we forget the one person craving our love, our own selves.
We neglect our own need to be our friend and seek to be a friend to others. We are kind to others but unkind to ourselves, honest with others while at the same time lying to ourselves, patient with others but unreasonable with ourselves. We try to fill the void with others and yet we can fill it ourselves. We were created for companionship, but instead of going out there to find it in another, seek it first in the one person who truly sees you when no-one is looking, when no-one is listening, they hear and when no-one understands, they completely get you, that person is you.
Take time to truly appreciate yourself, and then out of the abundance, appreciate others. Be patient with yourself before you can be patient with others. There is no victory in gaining the love of others when you hate yourself, but there is victory in gaining the love for yourself even when you lose the love of others.
Thanks for reading,